Its been a long time i do not update my blog...i always ask people : "y don't you update your blog?" and you guess what? i also do not update my blog... things happened and really tired bout my life.... everyday..college...7 am..."is time to wake up and go for college..haiz..what a miserable day"...this is what goes in my mind every morning.... funny rite? my parents say i should enjoy my college life and not complaining about it..actually i do not complaining about it..just that i need to find someone to manja abit..and of course i like people to pujuk me... my parents do not even know what i feel and they do not know that their daughter need them to pujuk... i just do my best not to let them worry about me... and i do not tell much of my feelings....
last month, i met someone...you know who you are....i like... hanging there for three months and cant do anything...cant let go of you... really tired... i do not dare to accept people cause i scared i do not treat them sincerely.... i scared i see your shadow in them... so i rejected...sorry ya friends..i do not mean to hurt you all...just that i am protecting myself..i am trying to sayang myself a bit more and acting selfish...i talked to him and i cried infront of him... sorry for acting childish infront of you..when i facing you, automatically, i will behave like a child and manja you...you know rite? so, forgive me...forgive my childishness.... i really feel much more better after talking to you... at least i know what you feel....know what you think and heard what you told me.... i see you enjoyed your studies.... and i reall feel happy about it... and you grown fatter and of course you become more eng tau....don be too proud ya..you still as cute as last time... so eat more k? take very good care of yourself...
really sorry for acting childish... i know i should let go earlier.... but i cant unless i really talk to you face by face..and guess what? i did it..i really did it... somemore get drunk that day..talk nonsense... and acted stupid...sorry ya.... luckily i have a bunch of frens here... when i sad, i just hug them and cry, tell them what was happening... they see me like that, they will console me and cry together.... thanks again...really appreciate what you all have done for me... you all make me know that friendship will never fade...^^
Things happened in college.... em...how to describe what i feel? just that i cant control my heart,my thinking and my actions.... will get angry easily, emo easily, jealous easily and alot alot more...same thing is going to happen and onli i will know what is that "thing".... tired rite? ya..really tired...."do not look somewhere else, i will feel uneasy, get it?"... do not try to ignore me cause i will emo easily....LAUGHTER.. is one of the thing that i nearly forget.... EMO-ING... is what i always do....earphones just stuck in my ears and i start to emo....this is what i can describe.... i can feel that i am growing up.... not like last time..always hehehaha d....what makes me and shape me like that? answer is: DonKnow....!!! izit the environment? izit the people surrounding me? or izit the particular person that standing right middle of my heart now? i realy do not know...may be all the circumstances lerr...see.... start emo d....eke..^^
Don worry, i know how to control myself and of course i will enjoy my life here...just that i need you all de support...@.@
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