我到底是怎么了？

我到底是怎么了？
最近都变得很脆弱，
动不动就哭，我知道看我哭的人都会觉得反感，
但我还是控制不了自己的情绪，
爱乱发脾气，爱乱胡闹，
过后就会抱着对不起的心情，
是我错了吗？
还是我本来就不应该这样，
但我就是个爱哭鬼，
连我也讨厌这样的自己..
讨厌死了...

我要怎样才不会再哭呢？
我几时才会学会坚强呢？

Only An Ocean Away

I see a shadow every day and night.
I walk a hundred streets of neon lights,
Only when I'm crying.
Can you hear me crying.
So many times you always wanted more,
Chasing illusions that you're longing for.
Wish I wasn't crying.
Can you hear me crying.

There's an ocean between us.
You know where to find me.
You reach out and touch me.
I feel you in my own heart.
More than a lifetime.
Still goes on forever.
But it helps to remember
You're only an ocean away.

Was there a moment when I felt no pain.
I want to feel it in my life again.
Let it be over now.
Oh Oh over now.
'Cause I remember all the days and nights
We used to walk the streets of neon lights
Oh I want you here with me.
Oh be here with me.

There's an ocean between us.
You know where to find me.
You reach out and touch me.
I feel you in my own heart.
More than a lifetime
Still goes on forever.
But it helps to remember
You're only an ocean away.

这不是我

把自己伪装起来，以为一切都会没事，
把脾气，眼泪，通通收起来，
以为这样伪装，一切都会变得像从前一样，
我错了，反而这样让我更压抑不住，
压抑不住自己的心情与难过，
我忍住脾气，拼命地忍住，
但这样会让自己辛苦难受..

这几天，心情不好，突然好想哭
我努力地为自己找个理由而哭和发脾气，
只要无理取闹，这样我就会恢复正常，
但我却找不到一个适当的理由，
只有一直闷在心里，
不出声，不吵闹，不哭泣，
这不是我..

不理任何事的我，总是先爱发一场脾气的人， 突然变得安静了，
这两天，我连哭都不会了，
脑袋出现了很多疑问，我不停在钻牛角尖，
心情很难恢复平静...
发现自己给了自己无形的压力，真的很累，
这种无形的压力，逼得我好累，
为了功课，为了前途，为了金钱，为了好多好多琐碎的事，
我伤透了脑筋...

我窝在被里，突然，
大哭起来，不知哭了多久，
我把眼泪擦干，很想振作起来，
但此刻的我恨脆弱，振作不起来，
只想不停的哭，可能这样哭累了，
明天就会恢复正常， 我不想钻牛角尖了，
因为这样很笨....

现在的我就想听些伤心的音乐，窝在被里大哭一场....
把一切都哭出来..这样就会很快没事的.. (T.T),,,

"The Lord is close to the broken-heart and saves those who are crushed in spirit" PSALM 35:18