Everything is coming to me in one shot...i feel extrmely restless and sad...i do not why i feel this way...Yesterday, my friend told me he wanted to get married...this phrase keep on repeating in my mind...WANTED TO GET MARRIED...i do not know why, i think alot ...really alot... Marriage...is a long way for me to go...but for someone, they are actually planning to get married...
i feel lost in everything... i lost my confident...i lost my happiness... Why i always think negatively? i want my heart back... no matter how hard i searched, i still cant get my heart back...or lets talk in a different way, i do not wish to take back my heart.. U said u will give bck my heart...i cannot imagine that moment when i take back my heart from you... i really cant imagine...
I always told myself that you are not good enough...You are not the one i need...I always told myself this kind of things...but when i told myself these, i will find some other reasons to say that actually you are not bad...may be we met in the wrong timing...or actually we are not suitable for each other at all...i do not trust in True Love...for me, there is no true love...for me, relationship is only a process...may be from the start, you do not like someone much, but when time pass, you cant lose her or him in your life...this is what you call relationship..there is no true love at all...this is what i learned...
I really do not what should i do...everyone is telling me that i am not alone...but actually i am...i feel extremely LONELY...i am so fragile now...i always go to class alone..wait for the bus, wait for the LRT, walking to class..ALL ALONE... when i alone, my tears can just drop anytime...i cant control myself de..when i stuck the earphones in my ears, i will feel emo..then tears will drop..so stupid rite? cried in the bus and walking alone..the people around me will feel that i am extremely weird and childish...but i do not care how people see me cause this is me...
i have alot of time to think... but i just want to escape from reality...i do not want to think...i just want to hide myself, i know i am very stupid when i do this.. but i really hope to hide myself...i want to go a place that is no one can recognise me...but.. i know i cant do this...I want SUNSHINE... i do not want RAIN... i want LAUGHTER, i do not want SADNESS... i know we can control ourselves by stop thinking those negative and sad things...but i cant...for this moment..i really cant...please forgive me... SORRY....
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